The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
