I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
