check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
