Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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