only if we run a train.
done.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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