I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
