I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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