Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
