Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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