Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
