If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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