The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
