it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
