I need help removing her.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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