Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
one might say we're banned from that church
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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