these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
