dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
