bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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