Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
