I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
