I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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