so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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