There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
