I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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