apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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