his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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