You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I love how my cats smell like pot.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I pour the whiskey from now on
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
