margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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