Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I understand Curling. That high.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize