i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
