Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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