When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
