btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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