i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
