I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
