it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
