I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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