does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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