I'm really into asian looking animals
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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