ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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