Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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