i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
