i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
