Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
