this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
