There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
