Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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