I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
