You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
