Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
