We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
We smell like vodka and hangover
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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