oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
