And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
