Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
